Sometimes the light bulb comes on a little slow for me…and even then it is slightly dim for a while.  I try to stay up on general day-to-day living.  I read the newspaper, scan the ads, and read about what’s new.  In those question and answer series, I’m NOT the one, however, who has to have the newest gadgets or drive the latest gas saving creation from the auto giants.  I mean, if they have to ask me for a loan to design and make a vehicle that doesn’t go as far as my electric lawnmower, then I really can’t count on their expertise or reasoning.

So some way this leads me to the items I’m familiar with…like an iron, a desk calculator, a toaster, and of course, my computer.  Other than using electricity, these items may not seem to have a lot in common.  They can’t be interchanged, however they are very useful.  I can clean the iron when the deposits get bad..at least for a while.  I can get new tape for the calculator until it bites the dust, and the toaster will work until it decides not to. For the most part they are pretty easy to replace…..and it doesn’t cost me a paycheck. 

But then there is there computer….ah yes, it runs, most of the time. I would junk my car if it ran…most of the time.  I would pitch the stove top and oven if it ran, most of the time.  I would ditch the lawnmower if it ran…most of the time, and I would dump the TVs if they ran…..most of the time.  But what about the computer….no dumping here, no trash can here.  NO! This baby is here to stay, for at least a few years. 

And so I amble along thru my web page and emails.  I sigh when the download takes 2 Adel songs to finish.  I glare at the screen when ,the famous words “not responding'” flashes before my bloodshot  eyes. But when the ‘freeze’ takes over, I am not nice to be around. 

The   “PREFETCH” and the “%temp%” are run and the trash can is emptied, but no one inside this tower of doom cares. The cookies are eaten and the other “sh…. I don’t know anything about is discarded…and still nothing but the freeze.

Well, let me tell you, this isn’t my first computer….I can call for help.  Menus and discussions later, in the darkened gloom of my monitor, I cry ‘uncle’ and begin the search for online 24 hour repair. 

Dang if I don’t find one….and they seem to even have a little pity on me.  I like Simone…she’s from Miami, and she does her best to dry my tears and promise me things will be better….IF I buy the ‘we’ll fix it 24/7 package”.  I hesitate at the cost, she reminds me of the corrupt SOB who has come to live in my house, we discuss using it on two computers, and the decision is made. If she can fix my computer and make it almost as good as it was when I bought it…..she and I will be dear friends.  (Now I’m no dummy, cause this baby is a whole 5 years old….and I realize in computer land, this guy is about to be cremated) but I say yes.

And lo……it happens. A mystery person takes over the doomsday machine and 3 hours later, I am sitting in front of a nice mannerly machine that will actually do what I ask it to do….corrupt files gone, virus gone, stupid hidden files, gone, and especially stuff I don’t know about….GONE.   I am a happy girl.   For one year they promise to give up their first-born, if they can’t keep my computer running and me happy….and, when I move to the other computer, I can move the service there.  

For 3 days now all was well……and lo again…….. I had to call.  A virus visited me in the middle of the night and froze me up again….plus messed up my games.  Now mess with the web page, but don’t mess with Scrabble Blaster, if you know what I mean. 

I called, they fixed, end of story.  The afternoon sunshine glistens in my star-crossed eyes as I use my old, no ancient computer to write this saga.  Ain’t life grand!

Lesson learned here…….Irons and TVs come and go, but my computer damn well stick around for a while.  Although I am skating on thin ice here….cause I have come to the conclusion that compouters…….no computers are made to be like my iron or toaster…I repeat MADE to be like my iron and toaster.  There are many ways to fix the problems, but we end-users are not allowed to know them.  The menus to keep us satisfied are tightly held secrets, known only to the people I pay $180 a year to.