Yesterday, we talked a little about church obligations to their parishioners, regarding money. It kind of just scratched the surface, so we’ll come back to it again sometime.

Remember when I spoke of guests coming to check out the church…and the fact it wasn’t their first rodeo. Believe me, it’s the truth. Probably 90% of the people coming to your church for the first time have been a part of another. To top it all off, they were probably at the ‘other’ church for quite some time.

It seems there is some unwritten law that newcomers do not discuss what made them ‘walk’ from their former church home. It is a law because it WAS THEIR CHURCH HOME, and nobody tattles. (at least for awhile). Probably there is a lot of pain involved, too. Something happened to these people, that just knocked their feet out from under them and they do not know quite how to handle it even as they step foot into your sanctuary.

Maybe it was a person, maybe an action, maybe it was gossip. Maybe the service was not ‘the way it had been’. Maybe the music was not appealing. Maybe the service times were out of line with their lifestyle. Maybe..maybe..maybe Maybe it was all the above and maybe it was none of the above. Whatever it was YOU AIN’T GONNA KNOW FOR A LONG TIME!

The same law exists for people in your congregation. Your church is their church. Your God, your sermons, your Sunday School, it’s all theirs too. And if something is not working out with people considering ‘the walk’, it’s easy to see why the rule is the same.
No one wants to hurt anyone, and no one wants to start ‘something’.
Same reason…..IT’S THEIR CHURCH HOME and they respect the fact it is your church home too.

I’ve read that it takes 6 to 9 months for a family to leave their church home. It is a long, tedius, painful pathway for these families, as they consider and reconsider their possible departure.

During that period, if other members are astute enough to see the change, there may be time to work things out. The family may disclose their problem, or remain tight-lipped. Either way, after the 9 months, the decision is pretty well made, and the family begins a search or decides to stay.

In churches I’ve attended, committees have tried to pay very close attention to the pulse of the congregation. Questionaires are sent out, friendship dinners occur to touch everyone equally, and committee work seem to be popular. But the bottom line is, sometimes it just doesn’t work. People come and people go. Some just wander around, hoping, some have done their homework and know exactly where they will end up, but most are in between.

Is there an answer…I wish. It’s be going on for years and years. And yet, it sticks in our craw big time, doesn’t it. What sa matta with my church…..ain’t it good nuf for ya. (other way of saying it—-What sa matta with my HOME….ain’t it good nuf for ya)…

Sometimes the best way to think about your church is to think about your home. We are good, we are proud, we have worked hard, we have a future, we are a family, we believe and have faith in Christ and in one another. How can that be ….that someone comes into our church family and then becomes disgruntled. How can that be?

Part of the answer is that is just what happens. It is true everyone can’t be pleased all time. It is true that some have to have the candle here and not there, or the service doesn’t work for them. It’s true the choir sings songs slow and out of tune. It’s true the sermons cause many to nod off. It’s true some have actually come in and sat down…in church…with a cup of coffee!
It gives one the VAPORS!

Well, do unto others, and love your neighbor is the way good churches should handle these and all the other complaints not shown. Be kind, be open, understand (or try to)how these small aggravations can be blown out of proportion. Actually do some searching …. check out church law, and rites. Who knows, maybe they are right…and the candle should be there instead of here!
But listen, just listen.

We all come to find a better way thru Christ. Church just happens to be an avenue ….. one of many avenues. If there was only one avenue, there would be only one church…..and if there was only one avenue, there still couldn’t be just one church because someone would want iron lamposts and some would want wooden ones. Some would want water for communion and others would insist on wine. Some would stand, some would kneel. Some would want songs written after 1976 and some would prefer songs prior to 1876. Trespasses! No! Debts (Reminds ya of family don’t it!) (Turn that terrible music down!…..what do ya mean..no soda, only milk for supper……bed at 7PM period. And so it goes……..

Love another and treat your neighbor as you would like to be treated.