Fly’in by the seat of my pants on this one…..My friend is close to dying, in a hospital far away.

Sometimes he wants to go and sometimes he says out loud “I want to live, I don’t want to die!” and then he struggles to breathe. I’ve been thinking of him, about what I’d do, if it were me, etc….all day.

He has been sick for about 4 years. He is a Christian. He teaches it, he believes it, and is joyous to be a disciple. His cancer has come and gone, again and again. He musters himself to the cancer center for chemo, tests, talks, suggestions, and promise. Then he returns home to face his demons with strength from his God, his family, his church, his friends.

His walk with God is friendly, as a long married couple, who seems to know what the other is thinking. And yet, like all of us, he loves his life. He enjoys what God has provided all …finches announcing the rising sun on a summer’s day; the smell of orange blossoms, the hugs he receives at church, the ability to help in healing services and offer communion; the joy of a son, the burst of beauty as fall comes to New England, the Gulf of Mexico cooling his feet during an evening walk, and just knowing, in spite of it all, God is with him,in him, around him, thru him, as He is with everyone.

As a friend, I want him in peace and without pain. As a friend, I don’t want to lose him. As a Christian, I know it is all ok.

This is not my first friend to come close to death, or to die. My first was a good friend in my church who died when we were in our early 40’s. I hurt for her then because her death was an a health accident. She was so brave. I had another friend who died of ovarian cancer. She had it for years and no doctor ever caught it. We were in our 50’s then.

Now I am 70 and it is hard to even type the number. Losing those friends of 10, 20, 50 years will become more common…and I will, once again, see and feel great bravery, just as I see right now.

So on this June day, I to feel lost in time…not knowing whether is peace will come with death, or with a rejuvenation to live on, ready to continue the fight….so the songs of finches can awaken him tomorrow morning.

Peace be with you all, in whatever chapter your life is in.
And if you have an old hymnal around, read the words of ‘In the Garden”….it serves me well in times like these.