WHAT  I’VE  LEARNED

Today I waved goodbye to my daughter-in-law, my two grandgirls, their two dogs, a fish and a hermit crab…..knowing their love for pets, who knows what they will adopt on this leg of their vacation to Florida and then back to Shreveport.

I have learned that I am old…..an old lady married to an old man….and I hope writing this will help other old grandparents in their quest to be current in their kids and grandkids lives.  What was once a priority in my upbringing is now in the past and new ways of handling money, computers, book learn’in, music, and general lifestyle has opened my eyes to just that fact…..I’m way way behind and sometimes bossy about do’in this and remember’in that.

This past week has been full of adjustments on both sides and probably has been a really good learning experience for me and mine.   Patience was  needed and my grandgirls were always accommodating, even when inside they were shaking their heads with a number of thoughts running thru their heads.  I am proud of them for being kind.

Fish lived through the week, as did the hermit crab and left on their new journey with new the new owners.  Dogs and cats danced around each other and were becoming friends, even standing together when the ‘treat treats’ were passed out.

We did the July 4th parade and the fireworks, and they did it in style, being used to, however, the Marti Gras parade and staring at the home made tractor bed floats in our small town.  If they rolled their eyes, I didn’t see them, but I sure understood, the big time, small time change of pace.

I learned too I speak too soon with suggestions…..approaching bossy when it was not intended…..  After doing a poll with about 4 local friends and family, I see that they are just as confused as me…in certain degrees and we are all having a tough time with the constant phone/computer usage.   It is a new way and we elders have to step up to the plate and ‘get on with it’.  For what it’s worth…the Progressive Insurance ad about learning how NOT to be like your parents kept flashing thru my little brain, over and over again.

Our ‘suggestions’ and I truly mean that….not done with malice, caused bristling (on their insides) and I am so so sorry if my words caused anger or misunderstandings….My bad, for sure.  My ‘old ways’ kept leaking out of my mouth when I should have just kept quiet and listened and remembered my teen years.    Don’t any of you ‘in’ grandparents ever think that you have avoided those moments……and I hope this is a learning letter.

My girls are wonderful, they were kind, open, bubbly, liked to sleep late, ate sometimes and not others, liked pizza and rice and beans better than  fresh green beans….and that my old friends, is okay……We are grandparents, not parents, to this new batch of teens.

My special needs girl will begin community college in a few weeks and her excitement is very plain to see.  My 15 year old will be a 10th grader and will begin this new year with more school and less covid.  My daughter-in-law will be juggling this family hoping to go back to work, after the end of a 20 year marriage and lots of regrouping.  She will still be in charge of everyday stuff in the household, plus the special needs requirements only families with CP kids know of and live with.  The rest of this year will be months of adjustment, newness, and passions awakened by opportunity.  We are excited for them.  With change comes challenges but I know for sure they are up to it.

Our son will be returning from overseas in the fall and his life will be an adjustment too.  Coming out of the army life into the work/civilian/father role will be renewed and exciting as he continues on in a new relationship with a very nice girl.  

All this brings me back to the beginning……things we’ve learned ……and mostly it is to love with all your heart and soul,  forgive and forget moments in the past, understand that things do change and one must change too, regardless of age, or whichever side you might have taken in whichever hurtful situation that occurred.    In plain words….MOVE ON and  LOVE WITH PURPOSE AND FORGIVENESS………

Enjoy the moment together…..you are old, remember… enjoy the moment….you are not in charge of them, their parents are…..remember…….laugh at them and yourselves…..you are old, remember (the comment was made my perfume smelled like an old lady….(Dolce Gabbana light blue), for those of you who want to make a quick change….enjoy the TV shows they love….remember you are old (Wheel of Fortune)…and, above all……love the hugs and the fact that they have taken the time to be with you….regardless of how long the tender moments might be.