seriouslyscorpio

thoughts of the moment and of my life

Category Archives: joy


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LIV’IN IN THE HOOD….OUR CUL-DE-SAC


Most of us just bump along in this life. I’m not saying life is boring…it’s just that we get caught up in the ordinary….I’m as guilty as the next person in that regard. I am doing my best to snap out of it cause there should be no such word as ordinary in this or any other language. Maybe the best word for me is ‘comfortable’, as in happy to be where we are.

Our neighborhood is a wonderful example of ‘comfortable’. I guess it is an old neighborhood, like 25+ years. I remember the day my hubby and I found we could buy this home. It had been $30,000 more than we could afford and we would look at it longingly when we came to visit our friends one street over. One Sunday afternoon our friends called….it seemed the developer wanted to add another section and couldn’t make it happen with the bank, unless he sold the ones he had…..our neighborhood, our house, was now affordable, dropping $30,000 that sunny afternoon and we drove out to buy it.

We watched it being built, still in disbelief, and on a special week in August, we joined total strangers to create a close knit community, called our cul-de-sac.

Families with kiddies of all ages began to unpack and make a house their home. Some came from 100 miles, some just newly retired from 1000 miles, and everything in between. Ages were just as varied.

You know when neighborhoods are first created, it is all by chance. Ours was surely that way and it was magical. The blend was perfect. We all began to ‘spruce up’…..front yards were planted but not the back. No back steps, no patios, no trees, no bushes, just lots of dirt and trust me, loads of weeds. Whoever found a knowledgeable ‘micro climate’ advisor, a mulch company, and especially a concrete guy, became the ‘go to’ person of the hour. We learned quickly this area did not lend itself to the plants we brought from the cooler areas on the California coast. But what we did learn was that our beloved ‘coast’ plants brought snails…and snails and more snails. Dang….and we did it our selves. I must say, however, after 25 years, the snails have gone elsewhere….the climate just being too dry for them to enjoy themselves. (thank goodness)

So these years have flown by….little kids became high school grads, then out of college and on their own. Parents became grandparents and aunts and uncles, but still the cul-de-sac remained ‘comfortable’….Cookouts were common when second or third families moved in. July 4th brought families of families and Halloween brought hot cider for adults and pets dressed up as Godzilla…. And it continued to be ‘comfortable’.

Now, all of a sudden, it is more than 25 years later, and 1/2 of us are still original owners. The ‘newbies’ have either conformed to our ways, or we have to theirs. It is still warm to come home….to see friends/to wave goodbye as they go off on vacation, or when they come back from church. We smile as we remember teens being teens, running out of refrigerator room during the holidays, or even using another’s oven when it became crunch time.

We have had our sad times when those in our circle have moved on, and today my heart is teary as a great family has decided the same. It is and will be good for them. Change is good, even when it makes us stretch our ‘comfortable’ life. It will be a new chapter for the cul-de-sac family as well. They will take their laughter, their Christ led family, their extended family, and our love with them, and all will be well…..in their new neighborhood, where life will, once again, be ‘comfortable’. Miss’in you already…..


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lingering ‘in the garden’


we’re still sharing time together ‘In The Garden’, only now we are three…..These last days I have spent hours with my friend and God. We have talked and walked together for years and many times discussed death, however, he and I have never been face to face.

Our lives are relived when crisis knocks…It is never ‘our turn’ when we awaken each day. The sun comes up, the sun goes down, 8 to 5 at work, then to the gym, then home for supper, a little house upkeep. TV, and on to bed. Kids are well, bills are paid, car is running, and our parents are fine…..until one day when there is a sequence of events that changes everything. No problem, we are Christians, we know where we are and where we are going. Right…..just wait til your sequence of events becomes even more….perhaps an accident, a disease, divorce, or job loss.

God, where did you go? What’s happened here? I’m unstable and seem to be losing my way! I knew things like this happened, but to me!

It’s time to remember our walk in the garden….the moments spent in preparation for the wonders and disasters of living. Stop, wait, breathe deeply, and go to your garden. God is waiting, patiently, always thru the good and bad, just waiting for you to come home. The door is always open to share the peaks and valleys with the one who loves us regardless….

Go and visit the garden……


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TONIGHT, I’M ‘IN THE GARDEN’


Fly’in by the seat of my pants on this one…..My friend is close to dying, in a hospital far away.

Sometimes he wants to go and sometimes he says out loud “I want to live, I don’t want to die!” and then he struggles to breathe. I’ve been thinking of him, about what I’d do, if it were me, etc….all day.

He has been sick for about 4 years. He is a Christian. He teaches it, he believes it, and is joyous to be a disciple. His cancer has come and gone, again and again. He musters himself to the cancer center for chemo, tests, talks, suggestions, and promise. Then he returns home to face his demons with strength from his God, his family, his church, his friends.

His walk with God is friendly, as a long married couple, who seems to know what the other is thinking. And yet, like all of us, he loves his life. He enjoys what God has provided all …finches announcing the rising sun on a summer’s day; the smell of orange blossoms, the hugs he receives at church, the ability to help in healing services and offer communion; the joy of a son, the burst of beauty as fall comes to New England, the Gulf of Mexico cooling his feet during an evening walk, and just knowing, in spite of it all, God is with him,in him, around him, thru him, as He is with everyone.

As a friend, I want him in peace and without pain. As a friend, I don’t want to lose him. As a Christian, I know it is all ok.

This is not my first friend to come close to death, or to die. My first was a good friend in my church who died when we were in our early 40’s. I hurt for her then because her death was an a health accident. She was so brave. I had another friend who died of ovarian cancer. She had it for years and no doctor ever caught it. We were in our 50’s then.

Now I am 70 and it is hard to even type the number. Losing those friends of 10, 20, 50 years will become more common…and I will, once again, see and feel great bravery, just as I see right now.

So on this June day, I to feel lost in time…not knowing whether is peace will come with death, or with a rejuvenation to live on, ready to continue the fight….so the songs of finches can awaken him tomorrow morning.

Peace be with you all, in whatever chapter your life is in.
And if you have an old hymnal around, read the words of ‘In the Garden”….it serves me well in times like these.


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PRAYER…..FROM DIARY OF PRIVATE PRAYER


O Thou whose tender mercies are over all Thy works, humbly and sorrowfully I crave They forgiveness for the sins of this day;

For every weakening and defiling thought to which my mind has given
harbour;
For every word spoken in hastiness or passion:
For every failure of self-control;
For every stumbling-block which by deed or example I have set in
another’s way;
For every opportunity lost;
For loitering feet and a procrastinating will;
For this…..
And this…..
And this…..

And grant that, as the days go by, Thy Spirit may more and more rule in my heart, giving me victory over these and all other sinful ways….

me


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CHURCH…..WHO DO WE SERVE #2


Today….we look at the church by using two words…..Two words that can overwhelm any church/parish or attendee. These two words come out of the dictionary….and their definitions are variable When it comes to seriousness. What I’ve found is that the degree of this seriousness is one of the main pitfalls in how churches act and react. This is our challenge…..

Word #1…..CONDITION/conditional….
Subject to or depending on a condition; not absolute
Existing state
Situation with respect to circumstances
Restricting, limiting or modifying a circumstance
(as in ‘only under certain conditions’)
Stipulation that would alter an agreement or an event
A diseased state of the body
To make something a condition

Word #2…..UNCONDITIONAL
Not limited by any condition…..absolute as in God’s love

Ever see those wonderul pictures that come from our friends’ email…cuddly, cute pets,….the artist that lays newborns in a flower, or in their father’s hand. Warm and fuzzy to the max.

Where does that go…we grow up, that’s where it goes. Like the line in South Pacific….’You have to be carefully taught’ to become conditional. If these thoughts make you sad, imagine how God feels.

We do live conditional lives, some conditions more degrading than others. “She’s divorced”…..”Unmarried and 2 kids and on welfare”….”They were baptized in _________ church but not here”…….”He always smells”……..”They just come on holidays”……”They only gave $_____last year”……..”Their son just got out of jail”…… and yes, it goes on and on.

But living conditionally doesn’t make it right…..it’s the ‘everybody’ or ‘they’ where we get this syndrome. “Well that’s the way we’ve always done it”…..”Everybody feels the same way”.

Now is when we spend some alone time wondering how we got this way…this lifestyle of condition. Paul wanted his new baby churches to work together….some did, but some felt it better to try to outdo one another….better food, better giving, better crowds. They missed the point didn’t they…..their church going became conditional. Baby churches also contended with new members not quite standing up to the “Christian way”….some were having affairs, some sill loved those idols, and on and on.

Paul was in the same mess then with new churches as we are today….
Not every new Christian was falling in line when it came to Christ’s teachings….Dang! (and I honestly think that’s what Paul said)

But Paul … in his frustration, along with his love of God….rose to the occasion. He did not what was necessarily the easiest, nor the most moral (conditional), but what was right in God’s eyes…he reminded his newbies that God’s love is UNCONDITIONAL and ABSOLUTE… There are no rooms in God’s house where conditions apply…..except that we do unto others as we expect others to do unto us….. and that we love our neighbor as ourself.

Imagine what would happen if our churchd decided to follow this idea? Now I know there are other rules about all kinds of things in the old and new testament, but loving your neighbor and doing unto others….seems to cover it all. I’ll give you a ‘for instance’……..I attended a Disciples of Christ Church in a small town in central Indiana….I had grown up going to a Disciples of Christ Church with my family, but in my late 20’s married and moved to another town. Little did I know, they had a ‘closed membership’. I’d never heard of it….wasn’t a rule in every church, but it was in this one. If one was baptized in other church, they had to be re-baptized again! I CALL THAT A CONDITION! I didn’t like it then and I don’t like it now, 50 years later.

Funny, but I bet some of you are not agreeing with me…and this is just ONE itty bitty condition…..

So I’m leaving…..for now…..Think over God’s way of loving everyone and everything, and then take a look at how we love everyone and everything. MMmmmmmm

It ain’t over til it’s over….there’s still time to live and love’
UNCONDITIONALLY.


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Church…WHO DO WE SERVE? #1


I’m going out on a limb here by saying I think there are lots of church goers, non-church goers, and all those in between who question in their hearts, how the ‘church’ is suppose to work. In these next few posts…I’m going to pause, probe, and press for answers to questions that are hundreds, if not thousands of years old.

For those who think these problems are new…read the wonderful world of Paul in Corinthians. This book has warmed my soul because here is a daring guy that leaves no stone unturned, when it comes to creating the best church he can. As I said in my thoughts earlier about Paul, I can see him vividly….gnashing what’s left of his teeth, as he hears, ponders, and writes to his new churches about how they act in his absence.

Flash forward to today and multiply the situation. Churches times a thousand, flocks times ten thousand, and guess what, the problems are almost identical those Paul and his new desciples found in their midst.

One thing for sure, the issues don’t touch any one segment of any one church. That, in itself, should make them easy to identify.
Send a group representative to the local church leadership meeting, discuss the problem, discuss the solutions, come to a vote, take the vote, and run back to the nest with a smile……problem solved.

How many board/vestry meetings have attempted to do just that…how many pastor/parish meetings have grappled with attempts to solve the most petty of church fumbling, and on and on.

Well, I’m here to talk about it….to think out loud..on this paper, in hopes you will do the same. For some it might be ‘been there, done that’; for others, it might be ‘we don’t talk about that’; and yet others might say ‘well, the Bible says’.

Right now I am thinking this will be a discussion of why we do what we do in our church….and why most of us think ours is the best.
We’ll look into boards and vestries…to pastors and priests, to rules of law and rules of church, and to condemnation light. Church or club…..business or belief….is there a definite line..or is it a blur.. we’ll talk later


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NO CURFEW IN THE GULF


Well, I’m here to say, there is seems no end to this spring party in the Gulf….One doesn’t hear much, but the beaches are jump’in..yes, even ‘in the air’ jump’in.

Now that the little guys have arrived, their extended family have received their invites. It is time for sprucing up the digs, so many hermit crabs are up sizing. Yes, they do outgrow, their studio type homes, so searches go on constantly. People (nice humans) who visit the Gulf, know they should only take one live shell away from the beach each visit……what a shame they are allowed even that.
(another ‘be that as it may’) So it is proper etiquette to lift gently and peek in to these shell homes first, before plopping them into your bucket. If they have set up housekeeping, it is then necessary to put them back, and apologize for making thier little hearts skip a beat.

As spring progresses, many empty shell bodies are found. The tides give us a new view of what the Gulf has to offer, and the waves gently deposit the new, old, and empty shells of life in it’s beautiful waters. It is a fact of life, life and death, and the Gulf of Mexico shows us how the grand plan was put into place. I still wonder, at almost age 70, why things are the way they are, so don’t feel alone, if you wonder the same, now and then.

Discarded shells from other generations do provide exquisite art that cannot be duplicated. Their color, their shape, and their design are the architecture of God. Each is made to house the life inside…and is done so to perfection. Take note…..and know it is a simple joy to ‘stop’ and look at these treasures….they will move you and replenish your soul.

I spent the evening at low tide, picking and choosing my next gallon of shells….What a wonderful and inexpensive habit I have. The warmth of spring, the waters of the Gulf, a good friend, and a bucket. These are the days to remember. Thank goodness I’ve been allowed to realize these moments. Just take 60 seconds…and stop to look around…then take 70 seconds and then 80. Take in all the gifts God gives us each day..for free!!


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THERE’S A PARTY GO’IN!


Wow….or maybe it should be WOW!! It is party time in SW Florida and the city is not one you regularly party in on Fri. night…well, at least not all the time. IT’S THE GULF OF MEXICO, of course. It is springtime in the Gulf and on the Gulf and the place is jump’in.

Everyone who is anyone in the Gulf Kingdom is coming home to reunite with some and partner up with others. It seems they’ve spent the winter in the deeper waters of the Gulf for safety and warmth, but now the beach waters are 80F and the welcome mat is out.

Mother Nature/God sure set it up right. The breezes are mild, the bugs are few and the snow
birds have gone north. The beaches are relatively quiet as big and little couples come to be a part of the large guest list. As in the order of things, there are some who depend on the lunching of others to keep this arrangement in harmony. I plan to ask Mother Nature/God about this when I visit the other side. If I ever come back, I’ll write about what they say.

Be that as it may, these wonderful creatures come home with great folly. There are schools of little fish…just new babies who stay close to each other or Mom/Dad. Some come from long egg pods that look like snake skeltons…and are they a work of art. Others look like the rubber seals that keep canned peaches tasty.

In the sky, parent and child Osprey glide and squawk during daily lessons. As in our species, many children carry on something terrible when mom quits bringing the daily meal. Goes to prove that leaving the nest is not exciting for everyone.

The skates come to visit for the summer in April/May of each year. They definitely add a ‘shuffle’ to our step when we take our daily walks. You see, they love to nestle in the very shallow waters of the Gulf….looking for tasty morsels. After finding a spot, they wiggle/shiver into the sand and do whatever….maybe take a nap.
However!!

When someone or something comes by unannounced, these tiny darlings become a little startled and whip their tail around to barb whoever is nearby. Well, dang, I can vouch for the fact that THAT HURTS!! Keep in mind, however, I’ve been coming here for 35 years and have only been stung once…and it was my fault….not shuffling in a skate zone. No ticket given, but 45 min of pouring super hot water on the spot to ease the toxins, taught me well.

More later…….your correspondant, from the beach says tootle


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AND LIFE IS GOOD….,


Sleeping til 9….hubby and kitty both purring…..
Opening the blinds to an ocean blue sky with cotton clouds…
Ten cups and 3 measures offer up a delightful aroma to begin the day…
Outside the news waits patiently….some good, some not…
And life is good…

Clothes peak out of the hamper, ready for a wash…
Plants lean toward the sun and wait for their faucet drink…
Kitty paws me for his morning treat and then heads to the front porch…
Soaking beans soften up to a ham hock for tonights supper…
And life is good….

A wodpecker looks for his meal in the Florida oak…
Squirrels scamper thru palm and frond, falling in love one moment, and digging up acorns the next…
Herons and gulls correspond as the sun rises further….looking for the baitfish to fattent their bellies…
And life is good…

Neighbors await their grandchildren, coming from the frozen north….
Wagons, sand pails, and cribs come out of storage, as the family comes together…
Snowbirds come and go, feeling lucky they are here to bask in the sun where coconut palms flourish…
And life is good…..

Blessings are acknowledged and health is never taken for granted….
Our 70 years have come so quickly, we sometimes lose count, until we look into the mirror…
Friendships are stronger, deeper, and longer than ever imagined….
A 50th high school reunion puzzles us to this very day…..
And life is good…

We carry on with our day, and smile that we no longer rise to be in the office at 7…
Our kind…..retirees, sift thru life’s memories and rejoice that children are grown and have jobs….
Their paths, beginning to march to the chorus of promises, dreams, sometimes stumbling as they find their way ……
And soon, one morning, they will find themselves, waking at 9, hubby and kitty purring, and the news of the day….. right outside…..
And life is good…..


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SUNSHINE MEDICINE


“You may have a medical problem”……runs shivers up and down your spine.  Even in the movies, those words make us tremble.  We are all act brave, showing that ‘devil may care’ attitude, but deep inside our gut is churning and the sunny day goes to turbulent winds with the threat of rain.

It is checkup time…..an ultrasound for me and a colonoscopy for him.  Been there more than once and yet it still creeps into our daily living, like the fog from the Pacific.  Warm winds of serenity touching the cool winds of change…..cause us to become solitary, even though there is no prediction of doom.

So the bootstraps are pulled up…..as we become nonchalant in the face of  our inner fearfulness. 

We then begin to rationalize, and examine…..what are the odds…I take good care of myself….it doesn’t run in my family, and on and on.  We do begin to feel better, and our sleep goes undisturbed.

The day comes for our tests…..and the phone rings for each of us…..”sure, we’ve done everything, we’ll be there, no problem”.  The medical facility is warm, and friendly, and we are ushered to our rooms.  We look into the eyes of the staff, watching as they take pictures, in hopes of finding reassuring glances that all is well.  The procedures are over almost as quickly as they begin and we welcome the lifting of the haze of  marking time.

The phones ring the next afternoon….and with certitude, we answer.  “Just calling to say your test was negative and all is well”…..”We’ll see you next year”.    The phone rings again.  “The results of your procedure are negative”. We’ll see you in 5 years”.     And the sun shines once more.