seriouslyscorpio

thoughts of the moment and of my life

Tag Archives: death/dying


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HOW DO YOU STACK UP?


I wrote a little on this subject a few months ago…..I thought I’d bring you more of the same. To me, in the Fall/Winter part of my life, it seems just a little more pertinent than during the Spring period…..that being what I do with the remaining moments I may or may not have. I have trotted along, just like you, sometimes completely oblivious to the important and loving actions of others. I was either too cool, or too bored, or too stupid, or a little of each to really tally up the comings and goings of my own time here.

What I’ve found is we are pretty much looking for the same thing. How we get there and who with, who we step on, who we love on, who we cut out, who we lean on, and how we learn what we learn is the part that varies.

So today, I’ll give you some sentences of those who left for ‘their Heavenly Father’s house’ as is stated so many times in the paper.
They are not just words, my friends, they represent a description of life….just like yours and mine. How simple they may sound, a housewife, a husband, father, grandfather. Perhaps a volunteer at church, a gardener, a gourmet cook, and a golfer.

“Danny was a very kind, loving, generous man, who was always there to help anyone. He loved golfing and fishing and restoring his 1931 Ford Coupe.”

“Alex passed at age 90. He was born on Dec 6, 1922 on the high seas as he and his family were immigrating from Germany to the US.
He was in WWII, deploying to Europe and flying 33 missions in the B24 Liberator. He has 17 great-grandchildren and 1 great-great grandson.”

“Rollyn was a Vietnam War Vet. After his discharge he traveled the country living in Wa, Ca., Id.,Montana and Arkansas. He loved working with his hands as a restaurant cook and a carpenter. He was a drummer for Willie Nelson and the late Johnny Cash.”

“Betty passed away after a battle with Parkinson’s. She lived in Omaha, Ne. and got married on Easter Sunday, 1949.She was in Eastern Star. She was an organist. She retired from the Retail Clerk’s Union. She is survived by her husband…of 64 years”

“Robert was born in Uhrichsville, Ohio. He served for 20 years in the Air Force and then worked as a television Tech for about 35 years. He loved skating and that is how he met his wife Donna.
He was a great mechanic and could fix anything and loved to volunteer his time at a thrift store. He leaves 4 children, 4 grandchildren, and 2 great-grandchildren.”

“Harold was a loving husband, father, grandfather and great-grandfather. He took great pride in his family and cared deeply for them. He was in the Air Force during the Koren War. Harold held steadfast to is Christian faith and was a founding member of Cross and Crown Lutheran Church, Rancho Cucamonga, Ca. He retired from General Telephone Co. after 31 years in engineering management. He and his wife started a ceramics company in San Jacinto, Ca. He loved music, wood working, painting, public service and keeping up with his grandchildren. In memory of Harold, his family asks that you donate your glasses to your nearest Lions Club.”

These are your friends, your parents friends, your neighbors, and for me, some are my idols. It’s time to live, love, laugh, and be happy my friends….for you, and yours. That is what God intended……for us to just be good to one another, to love our friends, our family and our country, to the best of our ability.

MMMMMmmmm what will my obit say….will I be proud to be listed amongst these….. who passed just a day ago, and in the big picture, just a few moments before me…….


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THE PLOT THICKENS


After my parents died, our family found they had a cemetary plot they didn’t choose to use. We put it up for sale and received phone calls regarding the purchase….There were a few that asked “What’s wrong with it?” mmmmmmmm


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obits….good reading for grads.


learn good life lessons in reading about others…..especially those who have just departed. A job well done by them, thru feast and famine….another chance to see just what it takes, in the lives of most of us ordinary folks.


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OBITUARIES……..GOOD LESSONS OF LIFE


As one ages, their perspective of life, in general, tends to become mundane and then intense in a matter of moments. When once Christmas came every million years, it now comes every three months. When the difference between a 2nd grader and a 4th grader was, like grandparents and kids, it is now the  age difference of people we befriend,date, maybe and marry.

And, as we age, we lose lots of things, including a firm body, naturally blond hair, the ability to wear a 2 piece anything, chemistry formulas, and friends.

For this reason, I’ve begun reading the obituaries.  I no longer live in the same town where I was born or raised, however, I to cling to many wonderful memories and friendships.  It still is a surprise, however, to see friends die.  I am 68…..and, as one once stated, “68 when I look in the mirror, and 28 when I look away”.

Today, I see the obituary of one gal I never knew personally, however, it would have been a pleasure to meet.  Her  name is Joan and she was born in Pittsburg, Pa. on a wintry day in December. She grew up loving softball, tennis and the outdoors. She was married to Alan for 58 years and together, they ran a honeybee business. Joan laughed and cried. She loved and forgave. She learned and blossomed with her kids, cherishing the opportunity to work in her community.

Then  there was Al, who died at age 91 after a brief illness.  Al formerly lived in Akron, Ohio before retiring. He served in the Army and was in Vietnam for 9 years with the 101st Airborne where he earned many badges and medals.  He loved his wife Sarah and they were married for over 42 years.After his tours, he became a policeman and was very very proud of his work there.

Helen passed away having lived the wonderful profession of being a housewife and professional in small midwestern town.  She and her parents and siblings had grown up during the depression, farming their land next to her grandparents.  She became a nurse and worked until her children were born. After the third one was in school, she went back to her beloved nursing and worked for another 20 years.  She was active in her church, in scouting, and dedicated to husband and children. She left children, grand and great-grand children, and many friends. 

All of these wonderful, ordinary people, touched more wonderful and ordinary people, to make this life better.  They may have had gardens, they may have volunteered at church, they may have done bake sales, and they may have invented what you use today. And now they are a memory.

When I was a kid, I believed my parents, and grandparents, would live forever.  Now I know….they do live forever, only here in my heart, and in their heaven together.  So as my heart aches for family and friends, theirs are rejoicing as they are, once again, reunited with family and friends. Who knows,…….they may talk about their abundant gardens, or how they made it out of the war.  They may remember the depression, and also the Christmas of 47, as their children waited for Santa.  And, I hope they remember us…….

Til we meet again…..


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DEATH AND DY’IN BACK IN MY LITTLE TOWN


Creation, flawless as it is, is sometimes hard for us humans to understand. I know we all have different opinions when it comes to creation, and this discussion is not about that…..Mother Nature has pretty well put together how things work, the sun, the seasons, the temperature, the  chloroform idea, the magnetic field, and on and on.  I know there are a few forms of life we question when they over run our picnic tables, or swallow a deer whole, but since I wasn’t called on at the time of ‘making stuff’, I should be happy that I don’t have more or less anything.

But every now and then, I walk into sadness.  I know, we all have families, and friends who have passed, or have a certain type of chronic illness,  but at least, as humans, we have the ability to communicate our sorrow, our understanding, and our help.

My sadness comes for those, I can’t communicate with.   I know animals die in the forest, I know plants wither, but when it happens en mass, it is striking to the heart.   On the beaches of  south Florida, this time of year, the fighting conches are mating and dying.  They are wonderful little ‘people’ who spend their lives int he Gulf of Mexico.  They come in all sizes, shapes, and colors, and have a ‘foot claw’ that helps them move along in the sand.  They aren’t scary and don’t bite or sting or spit.  They are just wonderful little beings.

They become more human when you see them look up at you with their little telescopic eyes….they stick out of their shell, one on each side, and watch. Their eyes are on the end of the long telescopes…it is so cool!

Laws supposedly prohibit anyone from taking more than two live shells per day from the gulf…….right….. we could fill the local jails with people who bag these creatures by the hundreds …..and then are appalled at anyone who tells them to put the little guys back.  Another story….another time.

So now is the time of the year when the conchs come to mate.  I repeat, I know life and death are certain, but it causes one to pause when low tide uncovers the dead and dying by the thousands.  They leave us for their hereafter, and it doesn’t happen quickly…..Mother Nature steps in to see that their remains are taken care of by the local birds and hermit crabs. Admittedly, she has thought of everything, in spite of our doubts, but the whole thing is just hard to watch.  I am part of the cleanup  committee too.  Their colorful shells are carefully cleaned and used for decoration, crafts, and sent to schools where little ones learn about the sea.

All I’m say’in is, dang, when you are hit in the face with thousands of anything dying, it should have an effect on you.  How we treat  our fellow-man, how we treat our earth, and how we should care for every creature with love and respect, should cross our minds each time we walk around a life and not on it.

Handling sickness and death with love and compassion…..whether it is your friend, your pet, or the fighting conch is something we should strive for. Although we cannot change migration without dire consequences, we can feed those who are hungry and care for those who are alone and afraid.

Little eyes are little eyes, no matter who they belong to…….


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9-11 beginning or end


I was staying in a small hotel in Texas on 9-11…having never been to NYC size, volume, and address wasn’t something I knew, like I knew Los Angeles, or San Diego, or Indianapolis, or Louisville, etc.  And yet, I knew life was changing, for me and for every living person on this planet.  Happy kisses goodbye and pats on toddler’s heads, usually a ‘sweet’ habit, became a piece of history to relive for comfort. Answering machines and phones, held moments worth more than gold itself. The smell of bedclothes, the special tie, the favorite box of cereal, became monuments.  Family pictures, clothes in the laundry, drawings on the fridge, and the church  meeting notice, became items on the alter of rememberance.

Oh how my heart ached for those living and dying.  Oh how I admired the courage, the calmness, and the action, to continue the belief of dedication to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

And now today, on 9-10 we begin to gather to salute our fallen heros….those who were not in the battle of dying that morning, but who arose to live and love in this country called America.  They live on in my mind as soldiers of freedom, their forfeiture of life, the ultimate gift to each of us. They stood tall, side by side, managers, firefighters, typists, associates, drivers, police, receptionists, tourists,  secretaries, cooks,  and  even the unborn. They lived in died in and for freedom, and it is up to us to carry on in their footsteps.