seriouslyscorpio

thoughts of the moment and of my life

Tag Archives: friends/friendship


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LIV’IN IN THE HOOD….OUR CUL-DE-SAC


Most of us just bump along in this life. I’m not saying life is boring…it’s just that we get caught up in the ordinary….I’m as guilty as the next person in that regard. I am doing my best to snap out of it cause there should be no such word as ordinary in this or any other language. Maybe the best word for me is ‘comfortable’, as in happy to be where we are.

Our neighborhood is a wonderful example of ‘comfortable’. I guess it is an old neighborhood, like 25+ years. I remember the day my hubby and I found we could buy this home. It had been $30,000 more than we could afford and we would look at it longingly when we came to visit our friends one street over. One Sunday afternoon our friends called….it seemed the developer wanted to add another section and couldn’t make it happen with the bank, unless he sold the ones he had…..our neighborhood, our house, was now affordable, dropping $30,000 that sunny afternoon and we drove out to buy it.

We watched it being built, still in disbelief, and on a special week in August, we joined total strangers to create a close knit community, called our cul-de-sac.

Families with kiddies of all ages began to unpack and make a house their home. Some came from 100 miles, some just newly retired from 1000 miles, and everything in between. Ages were just as varied.

You know when neighborhoods are first created, it is all by chance. Ours was surely that way and it was magical. The blend was perfect. We all began to ‘spruce up’…..front yards were planted but not the back. No back steps, no patios, no trees, no bushes, just lots of dirt and trust me, loads of weeds. Whoever found a knowledgeable ‘micro climate’ advisor, a mulch company, and especially a concrete guy, became the ‘go to’ person of the hour. We learned quickly this area did not lend itself to the plants we brought from the cooler areas on the California coast. But what we did learn was that our beloved ‘coast’ plants brought snails…and snails and more snails. Dang….and we did it our selves. I must say, however, after 25 years, the snails have gone elsewhere….the climate just being too dry for them to enjoy themselves. (thank goodness)

So these years have flown by….little kids became high school grads, then out of college and on their own. Parents became grandparents and aunts and uncles, but still the cul-de-sac remained ‘comfortable’….Cookouts were common when second or third families moved in. July 4th brought families of families and Halloween brought hot cider for adults and pets dressed up as Godzilla…. And it continued to be ‘comfortable’.

Now, all of a sudden, it is more than 25 years later, and 1/2 of us are still original owners. The ‘newbies’ have either conformed to our ways, or we have to theirs. It is still warm to come home….to see friends/to wave goodbye as they go off on vacation, or when they come back from church. We smile as we remember teens being teens, running out of refrigerator room during the holidays, or even using another’s oven when it became crunch time.

We have had our sad times when those in our circle have moved on, and today my heart is teary as a great family has decided the same. It is and will be good for them. Change is good, even when it makes us stretch our ‘comfortable’ life. It will be a new chapter for the cul-de-sac family as well. They will take their laughter, their Christ led family, their extended family, and our love with them, and all will be well…..in their new neighborhood, where life will, once again, be ‘comfortable’. Miss’in you already…..


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MY FLAG LOOKS WEARY……


Didn’t remember to purchase a new flag for the 4th, so the one we had is on display. It joined all the others proudly flying in our cul-de-sac.

I began to think what it has meant to live in such a neighborhood….for all these years. Most of us have been neighbors since we all moved in…1986, in the same week. We came from varied walks of life and different parts of the US. We were moving from the ‘city’ (Orange County, Ca.) to the burbs…or the ‘country’ as our kids called it. Some moved to begin retirement, a new doctor to begin his practice, a newly retired Marine moved is family here from Hawaii, and on and on.

The kids ages were new to 15. Schools were bulging with new students and churches were meeting in condo meeting rooms, day care centers, and offices. The town had one stop-light and the nearest Home Depot and Mall was 30 miles away.

But there was promise…..new beginnings. It was exciting and scary at the same time….New homes, new town, new work, new bills, and yet we all were gloriously happy to be here (except for the teens who longed for South Coast Plaza).

Now we are ready to celebrate another July 4, 2014….in this cul-de-sac. A few have moved, many have grown and married, and the youngest is now in college. We have survived…the move, the job change, the lay-offs, and a couple of recessions. Our little area is a lot like the world…..New people, backgrounds, varying beliefs, shapes, sizes and ages….and we became united. None of these differences or backgrounds mattered…. we became a family because of it. We had our differences, with our priorities, and in our politics, but it didn’t matter, we were united.

This morning, when I looked at our flag. it looked a little weary… I know it is because it has not been retired from service, and that is my fault. However, as I felt the guilt of its appearance, I wondered if the whole country is not just a little weary as it begins to celebrate this most important of holidays. The wind of anger and war has made my flag a little frayed. Her citizens are working so hard to end distress within the her boundary and do so in the best possible way, by referring to her laws. Yes, we are sometimes very fatigued as we test drive the roads of freedom. Some of our citizens are irked at the happenings in Congress, while some think the roads to a better society are better for all. And yes, from time to time, our flag looks tired.

But not to fear, for even one second, because it has been weary, even shredded and burned before…..it will survive. Our flag flies at this moment to represent freedom, democracy, good laws to provide for all, and the opportunity to believe without fear. It stands as an open door to all who come in fairly, with an understanding that we are the UNITED States of America, and not about to change.

I’ll bet that some of you are weary….as is my flag….but no worry. We are, as my cul-de-sac is, united, united to care for one another, to stand for what is right, to live as good neighbors, and devoted to protect our country. Happy 4th


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TONIGHT, I’M ‘IN THE GARDEN’


Fly’in by the seat of my pants on this one…..My friend is close to dying, in a hospital far away.

Sometimes he wants to go and sometimes he says out loud “I want to live, I don’t want to die!” and then he struggles to breathe. I’ve been thinking of him, about what I’d do, if it were me, etc….all day.

He has been sick for about 4 years. He is a Christian. He teaches it, he believes it, and is joyous to be a disciple. His cancer has come and gone, again and again. He musters himself to the cancer center for chemo, tests, talks, suggestions, and promise. Then he returns home to face his demons with strength from his God, his family, his church, his friends.

His walk with God is friendly, as a long married couple, who seems to know what the other is thinking. And yet, like all of us, he loves his life. He enjoys what God has provided all …finches announcing the rising sun on a summer’s day; the smell of orange blossoms, the hugs he receives at church, the ability to help in healing services and offer communion; the joy of a son, the burst of beauty as fall comes to New England, the Gulf of Mexico cooling his feet during an evening walk, and just knowing, in spite of it all, God is with him,in him, around him, thru him, as He is with everyone.

As a friend, I want him in peace and without pain. As a friend, I don’t want to lose him. As a Christian, I know it is all ok.

This is not my first friend to come close to death, or to die. My first was a good friend in my church who died when we were in our early 40’s. I hurt for her then because her death was an a health accident. She was so brave. I had another friend who died of ovarian cancer. She had it for years and no doctor ever caught it. We were in our 50’s then.

Now I am 70 and it is hard to even type the number. Losing those friends of 10, 20, 50 years will become more common…and I will, once again, see and feel great bravery, just as I see right now.

So on this June day, I to feel lost in time…not knowing whether is peace will come with death, or with a rejuvenation to live on, ready to continue the fight….so the songs of finches can awaken him tomorrow morning.

Peace be with you all, in whatever chapter your life is in.
And if you have an old hymnal around, read the words of ‘In the Garden”….it serves me well in times like these.


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MORNING TEA


Every morning, without fail, the ladies show up for tea. They wear frocks that are kind of drab. Tea has been going on for awhile, so they don’t feel the need to dress up. I also think they’ve been together for most of their lives, so impressing each other is just passe. I think that because I have wonderful friends who don’t feel the need to wear fancy colors, big hats, or uncomfortable shoes just to sit for tea.

Anyhow, each day one can almost set their clock by it, the gals congregate. They nod, they talk quietly, and abruptly leave, only to return in a few minutes, something I cannot understand. Of course, I’m on the outside looking in, not having ever been invited. They also like to be relatively alone….and move in unison when something or someone comes into view. I’m thinking they discuss things that are strictly intimate because their actions dictate complete privacy.

And then…as quickly as they’ve assembled, the tea is over. It’s like someone is calling. One thinks maybe the kids have come home from school, but the ladies must have teens by now. Oh, well, it doesn’t matter. They speak their own slang, their own language, and even tho it is beautiful, it something I can’t seem to grasp.

Only later in the day do I see each of them again, returning for a simple bath, a quiet time, maybe before starting supper for their brood. They nod to one another, and get a little flustered if the area gets crowded, however all irritations seem to dissolve in the fluttering bath of my tea ladies, the finches who share my yard til they vacation south of the border.


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1st Corinthians….


Well…..in case you’ve jumped ahead and actually turned to lst Corinthians, (even if you have’nt) there is a lot go’in on. Yesterday we got a taste of what Corinth was like…..in 57 AD.Today it matches any large city, almost anywhere in the world. Truth be known, many small towns have come to share the same kind of reputation, as Corinth,too. This is stated to kind of set everyone straight, in case they thought their burg was the perfect.

But, I digress…..

One would like to think that as soon as they were “Christianized”, all was well, that they become impeccable human beings. I wish…we wish, but it just ain’t so……

Now here is Paul, miles away, getting Fedex deliveries everyday from his church friends, giving him the worst news possible. His flock, his group, his parishioners, had truly begun to ‘backslide’ my friends, ‘backslide’, and what do you think Paul was thinking? To say the least, he was not a happy pastor.

So begins the saga of 1st Corinthians…..and those brothers and sisters in 57AD… are just like you and I….They were brought together to learn about God, to accept Christ, and not only be schooled in Christianity, but to ‘live’ in Christianity.

Seemed like everything was going well when he moved on….this new church seemed to be stable, attendees seemed well versed, and even better, they were committed. There was, however, a crack in the armor. Budgets were off, pledges were not coming in, and there was talk of going back to some idol worship.

The ‘in-fighting’ was an embarrassment…There were lots of new churches and instead of continuing to work together, they started being a little on the selfish side…..Salvation and holiness moved to go on the backburner, as the illuminating speeches of Paul, heard just months ago, languished in file drawers of church offices all over town.

What will Paul do….how will he bring his new followrs back into the fold…what methods will he use….will he be critical, indignant,or keep his cool and be a gentleman…..or all of the above?

More later…..


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AND LIFE IS GOOD….,


Sleeping til 9….hubby and kitty both purring…..
Opening the blinds to an ocean blue sky with cotton clouds…
Ten cups and 3 measures offer up a delightful aroma to begin the day…
Outside the news waits patiently….some good, some not…
And life is good…

Clothes peak out of the hamper, ready for a wash…
Plants lean toward the sun and wait for their faucet drink…
Kitty paws me for his morning treat and then heads to the front porch…
Soaking beans soften up to a ham hock for tonights supper…
And life is good….

A wodpecker looks for his meal in the Florida oak…
Squirrels scamper thru palm and frond, falling in love one moment, and digging up acorns the next…
Herons and gulls correspond as the sun rises further….looking for the baitfish to fattent their bellies…
And life is good…

Neighbors await their grandchildren, coming from the frozen north….
Wagons, sand pails, and cribs come out of storage, as the family comes together…
Snowbirds come and go, feeling lucky they are here to bask in the sun where coconut palms flourish…
And life is good…..

Blessings are acknowledged and health is never taken for granted….
Our 70 years have come so quickly, we sometimes lose count, until we look into the mirror…
Friendships are stronger, deeper, and longer than ever imagined….
A 50th high school reunion puzzles us to this very day…..
And life is good…

We carry on with our day, and smile that we no longer rise to be in the office at 7…
Our kind…..retirees, sift thru life’s memories and rejoice that children are grown and have jobs….
Their paths, beginning to march to the chorus of promises, dreams, sometimes stumbling as they find their way ……
And soon, one morning, they will find themselves, waking at 9, hubby and kitty purring, and the news of the day….. right outside…..
And life is good…..


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NEW NEIGHBORS


I saw you today…..a new couple in the neighborhood…very nicely feathered, very comfortable together. They didn’t cause too much of a fuss with the older residents. I think they plan to share this California address permanantly. The finches and I welcome you…Mr/Mrs Crow…remember share and share alike.


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SUM-SUM-SUMMERTIME…… WHEN I WAS A KID


I remember……(and that’s saying a lot sometime), how it was to be a kid on Outer Drive South in the summertime……It was outstanding……but, I’m sure, not by today’s kid rating.   We played….I mean really played.  We played outdoors…..in the yard, under the magnificent shade of maple trees. We day dreamed with the clouds..as they displayed magical formations, that, in turn, gave us magical ideas. We played in sandboxes, using spatulas, sifters, rocks, wood, and whenever, Tonka.  We had peanut butter sandwiches, a banana, and milk for lunch before heading for the summer afternoon…..or the ever favorite, grilled cheese and an apple..

There was always the sprinkler to keep us cool, and then we would all lay in the grass, looking for a 4 leaf clover, as the sun cooked the landscape. We played hopscotch, using rocks for chalk, and when it got to be close to suppertime, we’d sit on the front step and wait for our daddy to come home

We didn’t know about air conditioning…..well, we did, but it was called….a fan.  Our grandparents had ‘summer kitchens’ to keep the house cool, and we had summer porches, screened in rooms where we slept when going for a visit.

There was always the ice cream man and we could set our watches by him…..money was not in abundance, so it was truly a treat when we got change from the house to get something.

There was a field in the back of our house, even tho we lived in town.  One year it was corn, and the next beans, then maybe it was weeds for a year or two…..It was our ‘extended’ playground….close to home for safety and yet a place to run races, and hide between the stalks.

There were girls and boys, but not girlfriends and boyfriends…..C’mon, this was in the 50’s when kids actually acted like kids.  TV’s were what the ‘rich people’ had…..and Mickey Mouse was just beginning his club of followers.

When the sun went down, it was time for ‘kick the can’….only to be played at night…..and did we play. We had at least 3 houses each way, plus the ‘field’.  The ‘gas thing’ out in the front yard next door was ‘home’ and 10 kids disappeared and reappeared, running in for ‘free’, as the lightning bugs covered the fields of hazy central Indiana. 

When mother range the bell, it was the close of the day……we would scamper from wherever and whatever we were doing…..cause the bell always ment ‘come and come NOW’.

Oh, summer days are still beautious, and the lightning bugs still hover the cornfields, but the memories of being a kid in the 50’s, can hardly be duplicated…..It was so, so very special.

 


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COOKIES…THE KIND YOU EAT


been bak’in……mexican wedding cakes, choc.chip cookies, and fudge (did you know the little mini morsals do NOT completely melt?) Needless to say I didn’t…..just tell’in everyone chopped nutss!!!


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FRIENDS


Friends….they come in all sizes, shapes, colors, and years.   I find in my case, most of my friends, didn’t start out day 1 being, what I call, a ‘friend’.  I knew them in grade school. Their desk was beside mine.  It didn’t matter if they were male or female. Either we clicked in second grade, or we didn’t.  Maybe we shared recess and that was all…..never knowing anything else about each other.  It wasn’t really important, was it?  Maybe we played musical instruments together in the band….remember those ‘flute’ things we all started on…..before choosing the ‘instrument of choice’.  Maybe we walked to school together and then went our separate ways to different classes. I remember how we would meet “at the corner’ and share our lives, as we knew them, til we got to school.  Yes, we did walk to school, a mile one way, and we came home for lunch too.  How wonderful it was, and still is, to grow up in a small town.

My grade school friends have become my life long friends……there were birthday parties, slumber parties, and chili suppers, and basketball games. We  marched together  in the band on the coldest of football Fridays, and sweat up a storm in the July 4th Parade.

In our neighborhood we had all ages of friends….some were 5 years younger and some were 5 years older.  We all had come to the neighborhood at the same time when the little National Homes were being built in the early 50’s. Everyone had younger brothers and sisters, who were definitely in the way, so we  girls had our private times sitting on the curb under the street light, taking walks around the block, sitting under the maple trees catching lightning bugs, and laying on a blanket underneath the stars before the dew fell.

From late spring til late fall we played ‘kick the can’ until our parents called us in…..or in my case, rang the bell.  My mother had a school bell and we all knew that when the bell rang, that ment ‘come home and come home now!’  I think if someone would ring a school bell now, at age 68, I would suddenly become 12 again.

 Later on the friendships seemed to solidify, and we all felt comfortable venturing outside our town to Girl Scout Camp for 2 weeks and then to church camp for a week where we met ‘boys’. I don’t know who was the most scared.  Oh, thank goodness for friends.

As I continued on this journey, thru school, and jobs, and marriage, and kids, and divorce, etc, etc…..there are many acquaintances who have come and gone.  The neighborhood I grew up in, transformed to the first apartment, and then house I shared with 4 other girls.  My marriage brought me to a new town with our first  home, and, as if in some  large orderly plan,  a friendly street, where my children would come to repeat the process.  And so it goes.

My Christmas card list is full of friends. Even today there are those I meet who may become part of this precious list.  As I address each card,  thoughts of how we came to share our lives, some by mere coincidence,  come to mind. Our babies are long gone, our work in the Jaycees,  long forgotten, our church suppers and Sunday school teaching, turned over to the young adults, but our friendship, our memories, our defeats, and our successes, remain as bright and clear as if it were yesterday.

 Friends…….I am so blessed they came to enrich my life….