seriouslyscorpio

thoughts of the moment and of my life

Tag Archives: honesty


by

STEP UP TO THE PLATE…..BE A JUROR


I’ve been on a jury at least 4 times in my life….starting in Indianapolis, Ind when I was in my mid twenties….I’ll never forget what it was like and how I felt. A guy was on trial for burglary and attempted murder of a store owner. The owner had survived and was healing in the local hospital. The defendant had a long list of people who came forth to say he was nowhere near the scene….they included friends and family and former girlfriends and current girlfriends, etc.  All of these people made statements under oath that were full of holes and none could keep their stories straight to even coincide with others.  Still they needed to be heard.  The defendant was found upstairs hiding in a closet, above the store, with the gun.  The injured storekeeper was to testify, but suddenly the case finished and he was not there.  A jury only can use the information it is given…..and so the judgement was guilty considering all the other information provided sans the poor man who was shot.  (later, after we were excused, we found that the storekeeper had taken a turn for the worse, and was not allowed to come to court)….However, we did our job, and based upon what we heard and discussed he was found guilty.  He did yell and scream and threaten us, but he was hauled off to prison anyhow.

I tell you this story, not because it was totally exciting or because everyone got a star, but because we were asked to be part of a jury in a democratic society that says you are innocent until proven guilty in a court of law. We all know that it doesn’t work perfectly….but being a juror does make it work compared to courts in other countries.   Think of the girl who disappeared in the islands….think of the two going to court for murder in Italy…. then think of our jury system.  Yes, it is tedious. Yes it takes away a few days from our wonderful jobs.  Yes, we’d sometimes rather be doing something else, BUT THAT IS ALL BESIDE THE POINT!!

A juror is part of freedom…..a juror is an honorable way of being free. A juror is part of a fair and unbiased search for the right for people who have been wronged….on either side of the table in front of the judge.  I am appalled at the excuses and statements I hear from those who receive the call for jury duty. (We’ll talk excuses later) Why do people creep away and hide with all kinds of excuses, when they look in the mirror every day and acclaim what fine upstanding citizens they are.  They are the first to discuss right and wrong, politically miss-managed funds and departments, the lack of morals or being honorable in daily business people they deal with, and the way the ‘world is going’ because of unscrupulous people. BUT….when the call comes……they almost become the people they are asked to be a jury for.  They are too old, they can’t get the bus, they work nights, they have a cold, they dislike anyone of color, they have a family member who influences them, and on and on.  What a pity…….

And the courts have to listen to this every day….the courts, the servants whose job it is to give anyone a fair trial….continually have to endure these types every day.  When did ‘responsible’ become such a dirty word? When did ‘slinking’ out the door after lying to the judge become such an honorable thing to do?  I am appalled and amazed at the statements I have heard when some says they received a call for jury.

The courts have always treated us graciously….In California it is one day or one trial.  You don’t even have to go to the court house unless your group number is called, and you can stay at home and check, every morning and evening.    There are nice rooms to wait in, there are TVs and books and games, and food. You are given at least an hour and maybe two for lunch and have breaks. One is treated with great respect as a possible juror, not to mention in the court room.  The judge is gracious, he/she explains fully the trial time and dates and length.  Valid excuses are readily accepted and there is always a ‘thank you’.

When in court, you are the ‘chosen’…you are there to listen, to reason, to understand, to take notes, to ask questions of the judge, and to deliberate as a unit of fairness. There is no one more ‘looked up to’  than you, the jury.And still prospective jurors scoff .

Now we’ll discuss excuses……real ones……and some we have no control over….1.  My job gives me a rough time…..what a shame, but true. Employers need to be fined for messing with their employees when it comes to jury duty.  Pay is full, for as long as it takes, period.

2.   The state doesn’t pay enough for me to leave work…..true…and that needs to be addressed….maybe by combining work and state payments.

3. No one else can do the job but me……I wish, but it ain’t true.  I once sat by a fellow juror who mathematically helped plans fly full of baggage, people, and fuel, each and every flight.   Someone did his job, when he was gone…(and I thought that was dang important)

4. I have a problem with people of color……GET OVER IT! and learn that right is right and wrong is wrong regardless of color. You might learn a lot from our fellow jurors on that!

Now school finals, and working each and every night can be valid, but don’t plan your vacation during your jury duty…..just to get out of it.  AND, if you do have valid reasons, they court will be more than happy to give you another date that works for you!

So, in closing this soapbox one-sided discussion, I repeat, with all honesty. I have never felt more proud than to serve as a juror….to give the guy who is in the right, a reward for being right, and to serve a dose of  “guilty’ to the person who wronged him.  Maybe it doesn’t make everything perfect again, but it is the way Americans try to do what is right, each and every day, in court rooms all over this land.


by

VALUES…..(WE’RE NOT TALKING MACYS)


In the paper today, there is a quote from Margaret Thatcher…..”One of the great problems of our age is that we’re governed by people who care more about feelings than they do about thoughts and ideas”…..

I will add that it seems we are also veering from our values due to the sensitivity of our friends, kids, jobs, churches, and our own cravings.  Hey!  There is nothing wrong with saying “no”. There is nothing wrong with saying, “this is not right”. There is nothing wrong with saying  “yes, we can get away with it, but no, it’s not right”. There is nothing wrong with saying “YOU ARE WRONG” when your values, morals, and ethics scream inside your brain.

When did we start going down this path? Did our little kiddies pull the wool over our eyes when we were vulnerable? Shame on us…Did our friends manipulate us into believing they would walk if we didn’t go along with the opinions and even their actions? 

Now go look in the mirror……..Did you fall for it?  If so…..shame on you!

Keep looking in that mirror and make a plan to make a change….starting now,  not after you go to the game and yell obscenities, not after finance committee meeting concerning balancing the budget, not after you snicker at the less fortunate, not after you cheat on your taxes, but NOW!

ATTENTION…….morals, values, and ethics have not been modified to fit our lifestyle….I don’t care what the kids say……

BOTTOM LINE…….make the change…..be at the head of the line…..stand tall…

 

later     


by

NEWS FLASH..THE BROUHAHA OF BIALEK


I’m old….wait a minute, I’m older  I’ve been around the block, (so they say), but not around ALL the blocks!  I admit that gives me a limited amount of knowledge concerning some topics, so I’ll muddle thru this one.

I became aware of presidents about the time of Eisenhower.  I was old enough to know about elections and remember being awakened by my parents saying he had won. At that time, if it was okay with them, it was okay with me.

Down the road, however, I’ve become more aware of those who choose to politic….They are not better than I am, their skin is just thicker. They may or may not be purer than I am, but I do believe  I am a lot smarter about realizing the outcome of that answer, in certain fields of endeavor.   I speak to this because it seems  sexual error is the only area most people are interested in……Foreign policy, nah, taxing the hell out of everyone, nah, following laws that are already on the books, nah,  firing inept people within the ZIPs in Washington, nah, checking on whether the troops have enough to keep them safe, nah.   Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah.

It’s the sex…..the who did what to whom, and when and where they did it! Tonight, when you put on your jams, think back over the list of politicians, from mayors to Presidents, who have realized after the fact, that men cannot make good decisions with their pants down…..even someone elses…..

Now I’m not saying that taking advantage of a person is acceptable. Selected abuse is abundant and should not be tolerated, period…regardless of age or sex.  But this game of politics is rife with checking out those who seem to fall from the grace of another,( who has been, or is doing much of the same thing.) 

So here is my plea……if we are going to acknowledge what Ms. Bialek said, let us  I not stop with Herman Cain…….I’m sure there are many men who have made sexual advances to her in her lifetime……So lets, for the sake of  the list, start in the 1990’s somewhere.  If it is good to remind us of Herman, please remind us of others who have done you wrong, or attempted to.  I feel it’s the only fair way to handle this……Otherwise, it would suggest that you are selecting Herman, and I don’t like that.  I don’t like that at all.

Incidentally, that goes for all the OTHER girls and boys who want to play the game of politics…..name one,  name them all.)


by

NEWS FLASH!! OCCUPY — I DON’T THINK SO…..


The ‘protestors’ showing up in some major cities to complain, have used the word ‘occupy’…They’ve united in the word, but everything after that becomes a little messy in its interpretation.

The people protesting (for or against whatever or whoever) should take a good look at what occupy means……cause most of us think they should be protested upon for occupying.  Those areas, sidewalk, parks, front steps, beaches, and street corners are owned by all and subject to fair use by all.

“To have, hold, or take as a separate space,possess, reside in or on, or claim”, part of the word definition occupy, is not what I have in mind as to what to do with my portion of the above. Now, they can use it for a little while, but I take a dim view of them camping on it, peeing on it, and trashing it, among other things. 

The thing is, if I’m homeless, or loitering, or selling drugs, or drunk, on a normal, everyday day…….I am going to, sooner or later, get arrested. Even tho part of that open area is mine, I have to be good and ‘share’.

Another declaration of” “occupy’ is to be a resident of, a tenant of, or dwell in”. Now hold on…..I am a part of that description…..even tho I don’t use it 24/7. I don’t even monitor it.  I don’t have a ‘list’ of people I allow….I pretty well say you can use it as long as you don’t abuse it!   Aha!!!!

I bet there are homeless in Los Angeles that would take better care of my portion of the occupied territory, than some of those ‘occuppying’.

In fact I think the ‘occupiers’ are more in the description of “to take control and possession of, and to make one’s own”…..not nice, I repeat NOT NICE.

I understand your right to protest persons, places or things….(either proper or regular), however, do me a favor and do it 8 to 5. I’ve got places to go and things to do and I don’t want to walk in or amongst your signs, your dirt, or “f” words, or your dirty clothes, and  your thrown together toilets.

Downtown business owners have bent over backwards to be good neighbors, and stewards.  Local police have been patient in their actions, and regular people going about their daily activities, have tried to be understanding.

8AM to 5 PM  please……and do so in an orderly fashion. Wear a suite and tie or, for women, a nice  skirt and sweater. Check your spelling when preparing your signs. Bring water and a gallon jug to refill your 18 oz bottle. Take it home at the end of the day. Do background work on what you a speaking on….and don’t ask for Obama Money or something similar, just because you’ve heard it somewhere.  Be prepared to debate without losing your temper.  Be prepared to have proof in what you say.  If you can’t do half of anything listed above……go back to school, live with mom, or watch Beavis.

later


by

ABUSE UPDATE……OCTOBER 27TH


Just spent the last week with my sister…..she and I go on a ‘road trip’ whenever we can both get away.  We had been putting it off because of her divorce trial that never seems to go away, however, because it never seems to go away, we did.

The day before she left, a letter came from her attorney. Keeping in mind the judge signed off on her divorce in April, her ex, Tom and his attorney decided they would keep working and working for more money to be paid instead of having to pay, as the accounts had not been completely separated.  With this particular judge, it seems that the first one to make a stink wins……which, as one learns to understand about the judge, the stink does not have to be truthful.

The letter stated the judge had ordered my sister to pay another $12,000, and also stated that if she (my sister) wanted to, she could appeal.  Now as one knows $350.00 an hour does not go very far.  My sister works 60 hours a week as an ER Nurse and is 63. Her ex is a pharmacist, owned a drug store, made over a million dollars, day-traded it away (their retirement), and when she filed for divorce, gave up his license to be a pharmacist and said he didn’t want to work anymore.  Incidently, pharmacists make on a bad day $250,000 a year.  As you can see, he wanted my sister to pay for every part of the divorce proceedings and decided this was a good way to start.

Now one who knows this story will know I’m jumping around with the facts of the last 25+ years, however, this is just a glimpse of what an abusive man can do to his wife and grown 27 year old daughter.  This is done not because he is in need, but because he has lost control, and his only desire is to continue to cause havoc in 2 women’s lives.

You ask……if he was abusive, why didn’t that count???  I explain…..because he never broke anything….no one ever saw the bruises….no one ever saw the two being thrown out of their home weekly during his fits of rage. No one saw the knife to the throat…….WHY   WHY…..because she is the victim of abuse.

Here is how she thought it out……and it isn’t dumb…..it is doing her very best to solve the abuse problem, keeping her marriage intact, keeping him as a practicing pharmacist, replenishing their monetary losses, and helping him get well.  How do you do that…..very easy…..you don’t call the police and have him arrested or have him made a ‘legal’.  You don’t file a restraining order or let his pharmacy license lapse.  You pray each evening that  you can make it thru to the next day, and that the man you married will finally see the light and become a good husband and father again.  

You wait and you wait and you wait.  Your friends know, your family knows, and you know, but you can’t afford to give up everything for one phone call to the police.  There is  too much on the line ….. income, retirement, home, daughter, bills, 401-k, love, 30 years, reputation, small town, and so much more.

So back to the letter…….a contining account of abuse, still done legally, still no recourse except for maybe working longer than 60 hours a week to pay an   attorney, no peace, no guarantee that it is finally over after 30+ years.

And so for a day or so, our road trip was made up of sad times….of being caught once again in the illegalities of the legal system, of being fined for nothing more than being able-bodied and working 60 hours a week, of having more money that can be legally taken, dollar after dollar, of not having the power of being right on your side. 

We did have a good time, we nurtured one another, loved one another, saw the Grand Canyon, and the beauty of  the aspen in Flagstaff, Az.  She saw Palm Springs for the first time and got her hair frosted on my birthday.

She is home safe now…..with one more day of  vacation.  I’m catching up on emails and laundry…..Many memories, many strengths, but at least we were together……he kept her away from me.. for over 20 years.   More on that later.

So if you are seeing yourself……think it over very carefully….make your plans, and run, don’t walk to the nearest shelter for you and your children.Waiting can be so costly…..even if the reasons behind it are so carefully thought out, and as the vows, so hollow.