This mornings news said two things one should do when turned down for a job…..don’t feel bad…..and send them a thank you note….
NO!!!!! AND NO!!!! I will feel bad and I will hold off on the note…sending it to the person WHO GIVES ME A JOB!!!
Tag Archives: humor/fun/laughter
I AM YOUR POLICY……FROM THE OLD DAYS
While gleaning old files, and shredding in front of the TV, I ran across this letter, attached to a policy that has been cashed in…….thought you would enjoy a little of the ‘old days’ of explanation.
I AM YOUR POLICY
You and I have purpose in this world, which,when broken down, are quite similar. It is YOUR job to provide food, clothing, shelter, schooling, medicine and sundry other things for your loved ones; you do this while I lie in your strong box.
I must have faith and trust in YOU, Mr. Policyholder, for out of your earnings will come the cost of MY upkeep. At times I may appear to be somewhat worthless to you–, but someday (and who knows when) you and I will change places.
When you are laid to rest, I will come alive and do YOUR job. I will provide the food, clothing, shelter, schooling, medicine and other things your family will continue to need — just as you are now doing. When YOUR work and toil is done, MINE will begin, through ME, your hands will carry on.
Whenever you feel the price you are paying for my upkeep is burdensome, remember, that I WILL DO MORE FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY THAN YOU CAN EVER DO FOR ME.
Mr. Policyholder, if you do your part, I will do mine.
Sincerely
Your policy
‘CAN WE HEAR AN ….’AWWWWW’
THE GADGET AND I
Sometimes the light bulb comes on a little slow for me…and even then it is slightly dim for a while. I try to stay up on general day-to-day living. I read the newspaper, scan the ads, and read about what’s new. In those question and answer series, I’m NOT the one, however, who has to have the newest gadgets or drive the latest gas saving creation from the auto giants. I mean, if they have to ask me for a loan to design and make a vehicle that doesn’t go as far as my electric lawnmower, then I really can’t count on their expertise or reasoning.
So some way this leads me to the items I’m familiar with…like an iron, a desk calculator, a toaster, and of course, my computer. Other than using electricity, these items may not seem to have a lot in common. They can’t be interchanged, however they are very useful. I can clean the iron when the deposits get bad..at least for a while. I can get new tape for the calculator until it bites the dust, and the toaster will work until it decides not to. For the most part they are pretty easy to replace…..and it doesn’t cost me a paycheck.
But then there is there computer….ah yes, it runs, most of the time. I would junk my car if it ran…most of the time. I would pitch the stove top and oven if it ran, most of the time. I would ditch the lawnmower if it ran…most of the time, and I would dump the TVs if they ran…..most of the time. But what about the computer….no dumping here, no trash can here. NO! This baby is here to stay, for at least a few years.
And so I amble along thru my web page and emails. I sigh when the download takes 2 Adel songs to finish. I glare at the screen when ,the famous words “not responding'” flashes before my bloodshot eyes. But when the ‘freeze’ takes over, I am not nice to be around.
The “PREFETCH” and the “%temp%” are run and the trash can is emptied, but no one inside this tower of doom cares. The cookies are eaten and the other “sh…. I don’t know anything about is discarded…and still nothing but the freeze.
Well, let me tell you, this isn’t my first computer….I can call for help. Menus and discussions later, in the darkened gloom of my monitor, I cry ‘uncle’ and begin the search for online 24 hour repair.
Dang if I don’t find one….and they seem to even have a little pity on me. I like Simone…she’s from Miami, and she does her best to dry my tears and promise me things will be better….IF I buy the ‘we’ll fix it 24/7 package”. I hesitate at the cost, she reminds me of the corrupt SOB who has come to live in my house, we discuss using it on two computers, and the decision is made. If she can fix my computer and make it almost as good as it was when I bought it…..she and I will be dear friends. (Now I’m no dummy, cause this baby is a whole 5 years old….and I realize in computer land, this guy is about to be cremated) but I say yes.
And lo……it happens. A mystery person takes over the doomsday machine and 3 hours later, I am sitting in front of a nice mannerly machine that will actually do what I ask it to do….corrupt files gone, virus gone, stupid hidden files, gone, and especially stuff I don’t know about….GONE. I am a happy girl. For one year they promise to give up their first-born, if they can’t keep my computer running and me happy….and, when I move to the other computer, I can move the service there.
For 3 days now all was well……and lo again…….. I had to call. A virus visited me in the middle of the night and froze me up again….plus messed up my games. Now mess with the web page, but don’t mess with Scrabble Blaster, if you know what I mean.
I called, they fixed, end of story. The afternoon sunshine glistens in my star-crossed eyes as I use my old, no ancient computer to write this saga. Ain’t life grand!
Lesson learned here…….Irons and TVs come and go, but my computer damn well stick around for a while. Although I am skating on thin ice here….cause I have come to the conclusion that compouters…….no computers are made to be like my iron or toaster…I repeat MADE to be like my iron and toaster. There are many ways to fix the problems, but we end-users are not allowed to know them. The menus to keep us satisfied are tightly held secrets, known only to the people I pay $180 a year to.
slide the gecko
slide was found at my granddaughter’s house and is in temporary confinement to be shown off to friends. He’s called Slide because he slides down the glass cage. I told them to give him his freedom so he could visit his mom and dad again….good luck slide
GUNS……JUST WONDER’IN
Ever wonder how the ‘founding fathers’ would look at the presence of AK-47s in our homes? I’m sure they would look at the proud owners and ask quizzically, “why?” Now before you fly into a rage and demand your rights….let’s just look at this little scenario and wonder why ourselves.
How many people on our block have the same equipment? How many times have they used it in the last week, or month? Is it kept locked up for the safety of others in the home? How quickly can one get to this machine, if the need arises?….1 minute, 5 minutes, 20 minutes? How much longer does it take if it is 4AM?
Did all your neighbors start with guns and musket balls, as was the norm when the ‘fathers’ created our ‘rights’? Did the right to bear arms include cannons and flaming oil shot from catapults? Hey.don’t get upset, I’m just ask’in……
If we need to hunt for a living or for sport, do we do so with a revolver, and a gun using hundreds of rounds a minute? If we use pelts and skins for beauty and survival, do we like them with bunches of holes?
Well, these questions and answers can call for good discussions in many households as well as government buildings.
Defense, yes.But, of course, it is my right….but to what extent. The ‘founding fathers’ did not fathom 47s…..they did not imagine clips that allowed killing indefinitely. They really had no idea what type of weapons the future would hold, and to what end their rules would be expanded.
So here we are…way past the point of no return. California is expected to sell 100,000 rifles this year. Can’t imagine how many more of what, both on the legal and illegal market. Remember too, there are different rules for different states and even cities. Paperwork by the ton to try to keep records of all who apply and are back-ground checked. And yet, we die, we maim, we hurt the innocent,by mistake….and yes, it is our right to have the equipment to do so. I’m sure if 99% of those shot in the US were guilty of something where they NEEDED to be shot,we wouldn’t having this discussion however that is not the case.
I’m just asking for a fair playing field…..when it comes to guns and pain in America. How about let’s go back to the musket ball. It’s killed plenty of people, so no one can deny it isn’t a weapon. Our country became our country ….. and let’s see, isn’t that the reason we were allowed to carry arms in the first place. Seemed to have worked to help a bunch of mismatched men and women come together to be the USA!
So let’s just go with the gun/musket ball plan. Good guys and bad guys alike. Hunting for sport will be more fair to the animals. One shot, reload, one shot, reload…..in fact, I think it would help one really think about the situation he was in, as he was in the reloading part. Maybe, when thinking it over, it would be better if everyone were to just quit, go home, and solve the problem in a more sensible and humane manner.
Dueling would be good too…..again, planning the time and place and thinking over the problem vs the pain could deter some snot nosed idiots to go on to duel another day. That would also make it safe for those not involved, thereby solving other problems.
I cringe when listening to the 6 o’clock news… I am sad people cannot solve problems without shooting one another. No, in this day and age, I am appalled! Does it sound more stupid to have a place to go kill one another, than the way it is now? People don’t allow the death penalty in their state, but it sure seems to be fine to kill one another in the street. The people we are killing are not enemies of the state….they are us. Sure there are countries making plans for another 9/11, however, today we have watchdogs in place to make it very difficult to do so. I know, we can argue all night about how good the defense is, but not now Other countries survive without the daily bloodshed we have here……you wouldn’t hear a word from me, if those who had guns, used them in only a matter of defense of their home. It is an argument heard time and time again…to defend my home and family. However, how many of us shoot intruders on our street, in our town….weekly…..monthly…..yearly?
Just say’in…..just talk’in…..just think’in….just wonder’in. why……
MIMI AND GRANDDAUGHTER ON THE PHONE
“mimi, my tooth is loose!” I say “very cool, which one is it”. “Mimi, it’s right next to the other one that came out.”
Nannner Nano
Ipod…..a simple item to carry my music…not the new Nano, but the older one…but who really cares, cause when it don’t work, it don’t work!
Last year it froze….didn’t know it could freeze. No one told me it could freeze…used to be called ‘stopped working’…..now it is ‘freeze’…..Just like phones…used to be called ‘answer’….now it’s called ‘send’. Help me here!
Anyhow…..when I ask around, I got this blank stare….’guess you need to go to the Apple store’….. After 20 miles in bumper to bumper traffic.. I got to stand in line for an appointment and then hang out (somewhere of my choosing) til it was time….to ‘thaw’…no ‘unfreeze’.
The guy was nice….and very capable (of course, anyone age 2 and up is more capable with “I” anything, than me,however that is another story). In essence he just passed is hand over the Nano….said it happens all the time, and I was back to grooving with the 80’s.
Now, in the current year of our Lord….who I hope was not listening when the Nano ‘broke’ again……I found that I could not download music I had purchased from Itunes. I had the right questions, I had the right answers, I plugged in with the right cable, etc, etc….and nothing happened. If course, there was the manual I could turn to, but…..no, no there wasn’t. Apple doesn’t believe in those things…except on line. Not to mention the manual has to be the size of the Obamacare measure, to cover everything that could ever happen to a Nano. But I digress.
My PC was good at telling me what I couldn’t do, but not what I could, or should. I shouted “uncle’….took the Toshiba laptop belonging to hubby, my baby Nano, and off we went to see Mr. or Mrs. Apple head….now now, don’t get huffy…potato head, apple head, no difference, especially in my state of mind.
Mr. Apple reminded me when I walked in that this was not a Toshiba store….as in ‘ha ha ha’, (in my state of mind). I turned the computer around and ask for an appointment….The earliest was 1 hour 45 min..oh goody. Too short to go home and come back, and too long to just sit there. I was safe to shop cause I’d been to Kohl’s and got my ‘fix’ earlier in the day.
I came back early….checked in, and the nice man was nice to the old lady. (okay nice boy, okay young married man). He told me to remember that a Nano likes only one computer and will always refuse to ‘mess around’ with another computer…very monogomous, these Apples. So, with a few screens here and a few screens there, topped off with a ‘next’, a ‘finish’, a yes’ and a no, I was back in business. Why Itunes and Apple does not want their products to mess around (interface) with other Apples is beyond me. I.D. is I.D. and money is money. (I’m still digressing aren’t I)
So I left. Nano and Toshiba and me (or I, who cares). We came home and downloaded some new stuff from Maroon 5 and Bill Withers……(yes, I’m old, but not that old). (Aerosmith, Justin Timberlake, Lady Gaga, Genesis, the Owl guy, etc, etc…love’m all)(there I go again). So now we’re all happy, except my plug’in (that’s ‘dock’ in your language), speakers don’t work anymore and I’ll be damned if I’m going to spend $100 for another one. It’s a shame they don’t have a ‘ Mr. MrsMemorex’ store next to the Mr. Mrs Apple head store.
later….
60 seconds with a 5 year old
my hairis long,the sky is high, wait for papa to help, get the tape, my hair never stops growing, don’t touch anything, I swim, don’t touch me,I’ll tell, no, go check where papa is,
tell me,I’m sitting on yur chair to keep it warm, big, medium, large, smaller, smaller smaller, smallest, we’re not going to paint yet, ‘Ill eat you up unless you eat me, Bri…nah, nah-uh, robots eat you, der, der, der, der, hand is locked, can’t get it, nah, nah,nah, I didn’t have it, whoooooooo, whoooooo,that was me saying a ghost thing, B ri, stop it, we don’t need it, take it off, Bri did it, la, la, la,hey, I told you, don’t use those. You are in my place Bri, you are in my place, play a dog, orpainting, find some other stuff, Bri you are in my place, where I’m standing, um, go to the other floor, ugggg,click the stars and we’ll play a game,which one, that one, that one, that one, face the problem
s…sh….makes shhhhhh…..shhhhhhh, I mean the road, the road, ch…chhhhhhhh, which one on broken road, th…..thhhhhh.
SUM-SUM-SUMMERTIME…… WHEN I WAS A KID
I remember……(and that’s saying a lot sometime), how it was to be a kid on Outer Drive South in the summertime……It was outstanding……but, I’m sure, not by today’s kid rating. We played….I mean really played. We played outdoors…..in the yard, under the magnificent shade of maple trees. We day dreamed with the clouds..as they displayed magical formations, that, in turn, gave us magical ideas. We played in sandboxes, using spatulas, sifters, rocks, wood, and whenever, Tonka. We had peanut butter sandwiches, a banana, and milk for lunch before heading for the summer afternoon…..or the ever favorite, grilled cheese and an apple..
There was always the sprinkler to keep us cool, and then we would all lay in the grass, looking for a 4 leaf clover, as the sun cooked the landscape. We played hopscotch, using rocks for chalk, and when it got to be close to suppertime, we’d sit on the front step and wait for our daddy to come home
We didn’t know about air conditioning…..well, we did, but it was called….a fan. Our grandparents had ‘summer kitchens’ to keep the house cool, and we had summer porches, screened in rooms where we slept when going for a visit.
There was always the ice cream man and we could set our watches by him…..money was not in abundance, so it was truly a treat when we got change from the house to get something.
There was a field in the back of our house, even tho we lived in town. One year it was corn, and the next beans, then maybe it was weeds for a year or two…..It was our ‘extended’ playground….close to home for safety and yet a place to run races, and hide between the stalks.
There were girls and boys, but not girlfriends and boyfriends…..C’mon, this was in the 50’s when kids actually acted like kids. TV’s were what the ‘rich people’ had…..and Mickey Mouse was just beginning his club of followers.
When the sun went down, it was time for ‘kick the can’….only to be played at night…..and did we play. We had at least 3 houses each way, plus the ‘field’. The ‘gas thing’ out in the front yard next door was ‘home’ and 10 kids disappeared and reappeared, running in for ‘free’, as the lightning bugs covered the fields of hazy central Indiana.
When mother range the bell, it was the close of the day……we would scamper from wherever and whatever we were doing…..cause the bell always ment ‘come and come NOW’.
Oh, summer days are still beautious, and the lightning bugs still hover the cornfields, but the memories of being a kid in the 50’s, can hardly be duplicated…..It was so, so very special.
PIN/PENCUL AND PAPUR
Florida is having to come to terms with low FCAT scores at the moment….Why, because for the FIRST time ever, they are being scored on punctuation and spelling…..never had to do that before. Later, have to find a pin and papur
seriouslyscorpio 