Grant us they peace……upon our homeward way
With thee begun……with thee shall end the day
Guard thou our lips from sin….our hearts from shame
That in this house……have called upon thy name.
Amen
Tag Archives: forgiveness
TIME TO BE LESS OF A JERK!!!
My lovely sister and her adult daughter have been badly mis-treated by their former husband/father. Their lives have been tortured and torn, but they are making their way back to healthy living. Daughter now has a wonderful job and lives at home with mom, now that she has a serious romance in Canada. Together they work long hours but together they keep the house lovely, and the horses and pets happy. The divorce was over last April..signed off by the judge, who leaves a lot to be desired as judges go, however that’s another story.
The ex’s attorney sees to it that she continues to make $300 an hour from him and forces my sis’s attorney to spend $300 an hour because of her. If you are not sure about this….it goes this way. Ex’s attorney writes letters asking for meaningless numbers which forces sis’s attorney to respond, stating it is meaningless. See how the dollars work…..
There is nothing left to do but to sell one or both of the two corrals and split the profit. Ex husband has things to pick up that are his, but he doesn’t, even tho the judge ordered him to, and that causes one corral to look kind of bad. To try to force him to pick stuff up will only cost more $300 an hour letters, so it is well left alone. Sister has the horses which she has had and cared for herself for more than 20 years. Remember I say ‘herself’….she would like one of the corrals to continue keeping her horses in, as they are in their late 2o’s and she had them all these years.
The corral problem continues to drag on because ex refuses to talk to her or to take either one of the corrals and be done with it. As you can see the $300 an hour can go on forever at this speed. His only desire is to make her life miserable, in absentia. And so it continues.
Also, if there is an offer on one or both of the corrals, he has to accept it….or no deal. More $300 an hour letters. She has offered him choice property and wants to be done with it…….the jerk continues to be a jerk. I keep thinking he couldn’t be more of a jerk, but he can.
Divorce is hard enough without a jerk being a real jerk. It’s time for ex Mr. Harward to be less of a jerk, call it a day, take his half and quit spending $300 an hour. (I think 1 1/2 years is enough for any jerk to be a jerk to his family) Let him be a jerk to someone else…..oh right, there no one else in his life to be a jerk to!
ABUSE =
So how’s it work’in for ya…..the abuse thing. It doesn’t matter you aren’t legally married anymore, does it Tom….you can’t stand the idea of losing……not losing Marty, just losing…..You zero
You hit her, you yelled at her, you scared her, you lied to her, you took her share of the life savings and squandered it. You zero.
You threw her and your daughter out into the night, almost weekly, with no place to go, just because you were mad. Thank goodness Boulder City is near Las Vegas and Henderson cause there are hotels where mother and grown daughter could find a safe place to stay.You zero.
When Marty went to be with her dying mother, you would call her cell every night to say you were going to kill yourself, in the desert, if she didn’t fly back . How do I know, I listened to your raving on the phone. You zero.
She finally called the police, because of the abuse. The authorities were going to put you under surveillance, while Marty could file a report….She declined because she didn’t want you to lose your job making $250,000 annually, and therefore, possibly losing what livelihood there was left. You zero
Marty finally went to Family Court and a Restraining Order was issued…..( the judge had no problem making the decision after reading the info she provided.) And then suddenly it was, ‘poor Tom’ the pitiful misunderstood husband. Marty continued to think that the separation could be done amicably, by keeping him from being embarrassed in the Boulder City neighborhood they lived in.The order was done quietly and no one knew. You left and went to suck off the friendship of local people, who had no idea you was abusing your family and not even working.
You moved to Reno and rented a high-end apartment. You said you were going to be near your daughter who lived in Carson City. (She was only there for a few months) You even told the prospective landlord you were renting the apartment for you and Marty, and it was going to be a surprise for her, when she came north! Isn’t that special!y You didn’t have a job and had just finished blowing hundreds of thousands of dollars of their retirement nest egg. Who was to know….except maybe now. Come to think of it, you did exactly the same thing to your current landlord in Las Vegas….You used recent income tax records to show your income, however, you weren’t working and were separated. ( I know that Nevada law states each spouse is entitled to half of the pie) My point is you weren’t working, it was never mentioned, and it was presented as though there was good income to pay for the apartment. You zero!
In the past you had been the one to boast about having one million dollars….you lived higher than necessary, just to show off, and when the family objected to the excessive spending, you made fun of them, remarking that they didn’t know how to enjoy money. You zero.
Judge Sullivan first heard the case…..and he was good…he was also interested in listening and not being biased. What a shame when Judge Sullivan was sent to a Juvenile Courtroom and Judge Elliot was drawn. That was when the bias began….One can look at the court records, and see how the judge has ruled in events concerning this divorce. The examination of these lengthy and bias proceedings show that Judge Elliot serves with an incomplete understanding of what abuse is and how it works. I am sorry for anyone who has her for any kind of family court .
Your attorney presented you as the one who was abused…..explaining that you were the loving husband who had held the family together, while Marty was the one with mental ailments. Your attorney stated you urged her to seek help and was continuing to keep the home together when she filed the restraining order. Judge Elliot went right along with the idea, never checking your past abusive ways concerning your wife, daughter, family, and friends. Twenty plus people had signed on to come to court on behalf of Marty, to share with the judge, exactly what kind of beast you actually are. Oh, not necessary, it was decided, no police report, so no abuse.
What will become of it all Tom…..you continue to harass, to needle, to ‘not follow thru’ concerning the judge’s orders. What you fail to understand is that we are free of you….our family is free. Marty and Andrea are free.
You think you can continue to cause her pain…you are a hangnail, not a wound. You have no core family. You have no contact with your family,and now they will know, they were right in staying away.
It’s over Tom…..give it up. You lose……You zero
ever been abused #1
this will be an ongoing discussion of abuse…..all different kinds. It is hidden behind many doors, and pierces families all over the world. It may come from a family member, a work associate, a total stranger, a neighbor, a boss, from the ones you love the most, and from the ones you hate the most.
It is an experience that may or may not last a lifetime, even tho you experienced it for just a few seconds. It can drag you down, or re-birth you into a new life of freedom. All of these statements are of different strengths…..because all of us have different strengths. And, even more, our strengths and weaknesses, become dominant and then wane, according to our age, our circumstances, our dreams, our failures, our money, our kids, our loves, and our friends.
Abuse doesn’t necessarily have to be being hit, or yelled at. If you are just emerging in life, regardless of years, being chosen last to play a game, or be on a committee, can hurt. It may last for day, or for years and may be hidden in your memories until someone relive their time of feeling like they ‘were not good enough’.
What a shame we are so ‘open’ to these kinds of situations…..what a bigger shame we are not ‘open’ to being a ‘part’ of making this all happen. I know it is a two-way street, and I will try to talk about both sides when I write. In essence, we need to understand that not all of us are the same in the way we handle good news and bad news, of being chosen last. Some will rise to the occasion….knowing they will ‘make the difference’ in the game, and because of being on the team, it will be ‘better’, ‘stronger’, and therefore more formidable. No one denies that could be the case. Some will hold the ‘chip’ of being chosen last and carry it proudly with all the other ‘chips’ they collect. They might be the bully or the angry quiet one, who just are lost as how to handle the situation. Some, on the other hand, will quietly, with grain of salt, and with few comments, take their place among the players and live in dread of their inability to be or help the team surge to victory.
It is those sweet people I think of…..It is an overlooked and underestimated value ………it is ‘THE STRENGTH TO CARRY ON’. Oh, we all have it from time to time, but when abuse is pounding on your soul, it is the INNER STRENGTH that helps you to live, even to exist, until you can find your peaceful place.
So look around you……strangers, friends, family, neighbors, kittens, puppies, and your parents. How do they take always being last…..how do you take always been last. Pet your kittens and puppies. Smile at your neighbors, your friends, and total strangers, and be aware that we all have ‘boo-boos’. Some heal in a day, some never. Don’t be the one who cause the pain, be the one who helps heal the pain. You will rejoice and so will they.
later
seriouslyscorpio 